Wednesday was all scratch and shite, not sure in which order the cricket fell into . Jenny Wiggins decided to join the party for the late night wetherspoons gathering and in order to get to Wales she had to firstly encounter the scourage of the seaside the "Gulls" she was shat on from a great height and not probably for the first time , it did wonders for her blonde rinse and saved her a few quid for her usual trip to the hairdressers at weekend , not to be out done her trusted friend Nicky took one for the team this time full on in the eye and it made a change from the blue mascara .
Onto the cricket, Bury were presented with what looked to be a road and that's what it turned out to be until two of our gypsy tarmac workers got into it . In between Wiggy had departed 2nd ball . Milton and Vik at the wicket and Milton's guard went from 2 legs to middle to leg to off and at least 4 good lines were drawn , not to be out done Vik decided he could get on the front foot quickly and the pitch was to be trusted, not sure how he had worked that out taking 2 guards one of which was deemed to be in the danger zone, the opposition umpire stepped in and quoted rule 126.96.36.199.5 of the ECB llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch version of " you cant do this down here son " . With things seemingly calmed down and everyone in position and everyone less on edge Vik decides to take another mark this time 15ft out of his crease and all hell breaks loose, Burys 50 yrs touring party of North Wales is in great jeopardy of being run out of town . Milton the voice of reason using his international mindset of cricket rules politely points out to the umpire " it's in the rules he can mark anywhere " at this point I'm thinking Milton's not one to be recommended for any ACAS type conciliation.
Eventually things were calm enough for a re start and Vik rubbed further salt in the wound striking the ball cleanly to all parts, a well constructed innings he got to 50 in no time and was duly removed from the firing line with a retirement, in strode Ben and full of confidence and deciding to give the opposition a chance he pulled out his bag of diplomacy and cut pulled swept reverse swept drove everything in sight and in one particular party piece opened his legs to hit the ball through them to the boundary and by this time the opposition were applauding , good to watch for a tour debut and he became the 2nd retirement with the scoreboard rattling past 100 . Milton was hitting balls as cleanly as yesterday and he too rattled up a half century. One or two others came and went and 180 or near as damn it was the total the tourists had set.
Mochdre's innings was nothing really to shout about and some joke bowling was trusted Dom was in amongst the wickets which gives you a flavour of the standard being set along with Smudges record of most chances / catches dropped behind the stumps , god rest his soul our beloved Dave Hindles will no longer be able to wear that badge of honour it now rests firmly in Jordan's court. Good luck for future tours. Milton added some disgusting left arm leg spin and Mochdre finished some 40 short.
Note to self dont take anymore Saffas to Wales . A relatively quiet night at the end of the day and the usual 12am gun fight took place with subo and the publican discussing Lee Halliwells date of birth and the fact his mum wasnt with him . The big boys went out on the town, Lee ensured Milton was tucked in again for the second night , Freddie brought the rear up and was last in the taxi salivating at the thought he might bump into sweaty betty. Big W umpire Dave and Subo trotted off for a late night kebab. Inbetween Sam Holt the newly instated skipper for Colwyn Bay was given a mission Tom Cruise would find difficult as Mission Impossible was set, the team was named early and with Sam Massey down to bat at 6 it should give you some idea of the task in hand ,no pressure Sam we've been in bigger holes .
Yours in sport Wayne ..
It's only banter !!!